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A blog for young lawyers

Buh LOO, Like the Bear

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Editor’s Note: Jason Beaulieu is a new writer for Generation JD.  Click here to read his profile.

As a new writer for Generation J.D., I’m excited to share my thoughts about the legal world and beyond. From law school to clerkships to student loans to bar exams, from civil actions to discovery to billable hours and happy hours, there’s a lot of ground to cover. Along the way, I promise to be as helpful, humorous and irreverent as possible.

In case you’re wondering, I pronounce my last name buh LOO, like balloon minus the “n” or the bear in The Jungle Book. Sure I’ve Americanized it a bit, but when you have a last name like mine you do what you gotta do. It’s funny when judges give it a whirl. What comes out usually sounds like bad high school French or like they’re vomiting.

Interestingly, Priscilla Presley’s maiden name is Beaulieu, too. We may be distant cousins of some sort, which means, at one time, I may have been related to both Elvis and Michael Jackson. Is that résumé material or what?

One of my biggest dreams is to become famous so that my name is an answer on Wheel of Fortune. I want to hear a contestant get really pissed and say, “Pat, I’d like to buy ANOTHER FRIGGIN’ VOWEL!!”

I thought of changing my name once because of how well it worked for three guys I know. Their names were Thomas Mapother IV, Calvin Broadus, and Reginald Kenneth Dwight. We now know them as Tom Cruise, Snoop Dogg, and Sir Elton John, respectively.

My new name would have to be something short and easy to remember, like Jason Jones or Jay Bee. If I went the porn star name route it could be something like Jason Rumproaster. Got a nice ring to it, huh? Speaking of provocative names, this is a true story: In high school I had a math teacher named Mr. Samordic. We used to tease him and ask him if his wife was named Anita.

One of my favorite sports names belongs to a professional tennis player from the 90’s: Ruxandra Dragomir. With a name like that she’s got a future in Rocky 8 or the Russian mafia, maybe both. Other sports names I’ve liked over the years include Orpheus Roye, God Shammgod, and Ya Ya Dia. The all-time best, however, has to be former UVA hoops player Majestic Mapp. Here’s the best part: He’s got a brother named Scientific. I swear it’s true.

I could never become president with my last name either. Think about it, almost all presidents have had last names that are not only easy to pronounce but easy to spell. Bush, Clinton, Ford, Adams, Carter, Nixon, Washington, Jefferson, Taft, Hoover, Grant, etc. The one president that always stuck out for me was the eighth president, Martin Van Buren, but even that’s kind of easy.

I heard that a woman once ran for office in Louisiana and changed her name to Monica Monica for better name recognition at the polls. I also heard that during the campaign she avoided guys named Bill so things didn’t get messy messy.

As you’ll notice in my bio, I have kids. Let’s just say I lost the battle on names. I totally would have gone for Ruxandra Majestic or Scientific Snoop. I mean, with a last name like ours, you gotta give them something to work with.

Anyway, thanks for reading. And, for the record, you can call me Jason.

Category: Welcome

4 Responses

  1. Linda Engle says:

    Loved it. You rock.

  2. John Cord says:

    Welcome, Jason. Glad to have you aboard.

    John

  3. Gary Ruble says:

    Way to go big boy, Rumproaster?? Maybe with my backside, but not yours!!

  4. Benjamin Beaulieu says:

    Haha you guys are all hilarious, My porn name would be “The BeaulieUhaul!!!” I’m willing to lend it to family though…

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