Jan 20, 2012 0
Building stress resilience
I ran across a thought-provoking article a few weeks ago: “High-achieving women need more than a bubble bath.” By “high-achieving” women, the article means women who are accomplishment-focused and achievement-oriented— yes, that includes you, my fellow attorneys!
Actually, I found the article — as well as the book on which it was based — to be eerily accurate, as did a few friends of mine.
The article refreshingly recognized the traits of “high-achieving” women are much the same as those found in “high-achieving” men. The difference is in the assumptions that tend to underlie women’s thought processes. Assumptions such as “I have to prove myself to everyone,” “I can’t relax until I finish what I have to do,” and “I should be able to manage it all and accomplish it all without feeling stressed or tired.”
Now, I’m not sure that I would agree that these assumptions are uniquely held by women. I think the assumptions are fairly commonplace in the legal field where, as one article states, “My boss wants innovation as long as it’s done perfectly the first time.”
But I do agree the stress invoked by operating under these assumptions cannot be solved — at least not in the long-term — with bubble baths or vacations.
It makes sense that it isn’t as much about getting rid of the stress; it is about building “stress resilience.” Don’t try to make everything balance perfectly — it is more of a constant give and take, a juggling act, if you will.

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