Flacco vs. Kaepernick, the commercial sequel

Joe FlaccoThe McDonald’s commercial featuring Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco and his Super Bowl counterpart, the San Francisco 49ers’ Colin Kaepernick, debuted on Monday.

It’s an update of the Larry Bird-Michael Jordan McDonald’s ad, but with the twist of — as in the Super Bowl — the lights going out. This then leads to a series of spots about who might have swiped Flacco’s Mighty Wings. Here’s the ad:

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And for old time’s sake, here’s the Bird-Jordan one:

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In Denver, it’s a bowl game

port_a_pottyThe temptation here is to simply paste the entire news release, because what else could be said, really?

However, we’ll just let you know that Baltimore has lost out on so much more because of the scheduling conflict with the Orioles that forced the Ravens to open the NFL season in Denver on Thursday. Fans in Denver will get the opportunity to be part of an enhanced outdoor toilet experience with “Charmin Tailgating Potties” (not pictured).

From the news release: “Charmin is providing 20 beautiful, clean and fresh-smelling portable restrooms that are anything but the much-dreaded porta-potties of tailgate parties from years past. We’ll be providing fans and families with a clean and upscale experience outfitted with attendants, snacks and branded bottled water.”

The idea of the snacks and water, one supposes, is so you get the chance to use facilities more than once.

Charmin’s slogan is “Enjoy The Go.”

We quote once more: “In addition to creating a far better restroom experience, Charmin will also provide interactive games and activities that will help fans really Enjoy The Go. Visitors to the Charmin End Zone will be invited to win Charmin-themed prizes (plush bears, coupons, seat cushions, etc.).”

All that could have been right here in Baltimore!

And as if the upscale toilets didn’t have enough star power on their own, Charmin is bringing in Baltimore-bred actress Stacy Keibler to help with the launch. Presumably, she will be a key part of the “inaugural flush.”

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I didn’t steal it! Honest Tea!

Honest TeaBethesda-based beverage maker Honest Tea wanted to find out how honest Americans are when no one is looking.

So it set up 61 unmanned kiosks in all 50 states and the District of Columbia, stocked them with its beverages, and asked people to pay $1 per beverage on the honor system.

The results: overall, 92 percent of Americans are honest, paying for their beverages. Alabama and Hawaii tied as the most honest states, with 100 percent of customers forking over $1 per beverage. Washington, D.C., was the least honest, with only 80 percent following the rules.

And Maryland? Maryland and Connecticut tied with 89 percent honest, landing them seventh from the bottom.

Click here to see all the results (including how certain physical attributes, like men vs. women, hair color, hair length, etc., compared).

Burger big enough to choke a dinosaur

Like the dinosaur itself, the “T-Rex” burger at Wendy’s is extinct. But also like the dinosaur, we can marvel at its awesomeness.

The burger was offered at only one Wendy’s, in Brandon, Manitoba. It was constructed of nine quarter-pound patties. How did the monster burger come to be? This was a case of life imitating art — as in advertising art.

Barb Barker, office manager for the group that owns the Brandon franchise, told ABCNews.com: “Wendy’s corporate put out a tongue-in-cheek ad in Sports Illustrated eight or 10 years ago with a picture of the ‘T-Rex’ burger. Customers liked it and requested it, and we obliged, given that we’re in the customer service business.”

Customers would order the mega-burger two or three times a day, Barker said, and sometimes one person would polish it off. But as these things will — even from Manitoba — news reached the Internet. Corporate higher-ups decided the “T-Rex” wasn’t a good idea.

“We have removed the image from our store,” Barker said.  “Wendy’s is not condoning or endorsing that a person eat nine meat patties in one sitting.”

At least not without cutting back by ordering just a small Frosty to go with it.

H/T: Reddit

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AT&T ads not complicated, just let kids be kids

AT&T has been producing a delightful series of “It’s not complicated” commercials with a suit-and-tie-clad moderator presiding over groups of wonderfully uninhibited kids answering questions about doing two things at once or whether faster is better than slow or bigger is better than small.

The moderator’s name is Beck Bennett, and he tells E! News that those spots are just kids being kids. The commercials have scripts, but they almost never use them.

“It’s pretty much all improvised,” Bennett said. “They start with the basic questions … and each one of those principles has one or two scripts, just in case, because you want to have a safety in case these kids don’t say something fun or interesting. But they always do.”

 

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Friend or faux?

The fur was flying over some fake stuff that turned out to be real.

Nieman Marcus and two other retailers have settled with the Federal Trade Commission — which may mean fines — because they were selling faux fur coats that actually contained real fur. Nieman Marcus, known for selling upscale products at its department stores, also used mink in what were labeled as rabbit-fur products and didn’t follow regulations for disclosing which country some fur came from.

The FTC did not announce the amount of any fines for Nieman Marcus or the other companies. So how were they disciplined? After all, there is more than one way to skin a, um, whatever it is you’re skinning.

 

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Butterflies are free, but about that fat …

Remember that “Seinfeld” episode about the nonfat frozen yogurt that turned out not to be nonfat? Sort of the same thing happened with a New Jersey bakery, though without Newman and a table-ful of postal workers or Kramer turning the charm on a lab worker.

Butterfly Bakery in Clifton, N.J., had to shut down production because the Food and Drug Administration found that its sugar-free and fat-free muffins contained sugar and fat. The FDA discovered that Butterfly’s blueberry muffins contained 360 percent more saturated fat than indicated on the labeling, and the chocolate chip muffins had 444 percent more saturated fat than labeled.

While Butterfly works to come into compliance with the FDA, the company said, hey, we were only lying about three of our 45 products.

“Butterfly Bakery wants to assure all of its customers that we take continuous pride in the integrity of our products while practicing good manufacturing and ensuring the safety and quality of our products,” the company said in a statement.

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News on two Baltimore food favorites

In two food-related items Monday, we pass these along:

*McCormick is commemorating the Ravens’ Super Bowl victory with a limited edition Old Bay can decked out in Ravens purple with the team’s logo. The cans will be yellow and purple instead of the normal yellow and blue, and plans are to make 30,000 of them. You can buy the special cans at the following retailers: Food Lion, Giant, Harris Teeter, Mars, McCormick World of Flavors, Shop Rite, Wegmans and Weis.

Our suggestion: Buy one for yourself and one for that guy at the office who’s a Steelers fan. Leave the can on his desk. He’ll be torn between the mortification of again having the Ravens’ triumph waved in his face and feeling unable to throw the can away because, well, who doesn’t like the taste of Old Bay?

*Berger Cookies are back. The Sun is reporting that the Berger bakery, shut down since Jan. 31 for lacking a food-service license from Baltimore, received its license last week and again started to crank out the chocolate-drenched local favorites. However, it may take a while for all of the cookie outlets to be restocked, the report said.

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Under Armour’s ‘will’ power

Once upon a time, Under Armour asked — actually, more like demanded — that we “protect this house.” In its marketing campaign launched this week, the Baltimore-based performance athletic gear manufacturer is saying, “I will.”

Under Armour will debut an “I will” commercial on Saturday during TNT’s NBA All-Star Weekend coverage. The spot features Washington Nationals outfielder Bryce Harper, Charlotte Hornets guard Kemba Walker, top 20 women’s tennis player Sloane Stephens and boxing champion Canelo Alvarez.

Here’s the commercial:

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The company is highlighting its Armour39, a digital performance monitoring system that launches next month.

“This is a training product,” Mark Oleson, director of innovation and research for Under Armour, told CNET. “It sets itself apart by measuring athletic performance.”

Armour39 can be linked to Android devices, and it will retail at $149.99.

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End of iron-y

When last we mentioned the Monopoly token vote, it appeared the boot was in big trouble. But when the final results were announced Wednesday, there was a new wrinkle.

Actually, there will be lots of new wrinkles, because the iron is gone.

Hasbro, the game’s maker, said that the iron got the fewest votes in a poll on the eight tokens conducted via Facebook. A late surge apparently saved the boot and the wheelbarrow. But those two also had the benefit of a social media push to save them, Hasbro said, with online shoe retailer Zappos and garden-tool maker Ames True Temper advocating for their appropriate tokens.

Did no one speak up for the iron?

In the vote for a new token, the cat scratched out top honors. This, of course, threatens to disrupt future Monopoly games whenever the Scottie dog and the cat land on the same square.

The Associated Press contributed to this article.

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