Happy Monday! It’s indeed a happy day here at The Daily Record, as we now have phone and Internet access again. (We were down Thursday and Friday, which was somewhat inconvenient.) Now that I’m connected to the world again, I can bring you a few law links to start your day:

•  Ron Miller spars with Ron Miller over tort reform.
•  ”I would have advised Professor Gates and all other suspects not to open the door of their homes to the police without a warrant,” writes Jon Katz.
• Carolyn Elefant writes about why you should “enjoy” and “savor” your bar exam prep.
• Women of color don’t tend to stick around at big law firms, a new study says. Above the Law also points out, citing the ABA Journal, that minority women in a previous study said that, “Many minority women lawyers of the same ethnicity were often addressed with the same name.” Yikes.
• What does Obama’s Sotomayor pick mean for whom he can nominate for future Supreme Court vacancies? (HT: How Appealing.)

I am simply going to cut the cheese – I mean, cut to the chase – and say this post is about digital farting.

Specifically, the flatulence apps available for the iPhone. In one corner is iFart; the other, Pull My Finger. IFart is seeking a declaratory judgment allowing it to use the phrase “pull my finger” in its ads, which Pull My Finger’s parent company claims is trademark infringement.

The suit was filed in February, and you can read about the case here. I also highly recommend reading iFart’s lawsuit, specifically paragraphs 11 through 13, for an actual legal discussion related to passing gas.

I bring all of this up because last night, The Daily Show ran a story on the legal rumblings. I’m just glad none of this is scratch-and-sniff.

UB Law student/ NAACP Law Fellow Malcolm P. Ruff returns from the NAACP convention with one last blog post. If you want to hear more, log on to “Real Talk with Ray Baker” tonight (Wednesday) at 8:00 p.m.

After a much-needed break, I am back to report on the biggest event of the NAACP Centennial Convention: President Obama’s speech.

I would love to say I cheered from the front row as my president moved the audience with his best impression of a Baptist preacher’s tenor and his rhetoric of justice and equality. I would love to say I joined the masses in chanting “OBAMA” over and over; that I shared a once-in-a-lifetime handshake and embrace with the man of the century.

Unfortunately, I wound up watching the speech on CNN. At the end of the day, it turns out I really am an intern — and when the hottest ticket in the Big Apple ran out, my ticket and those of my fellow interns were sacrificed to the dignitary gods!

That turn of events seemed initially to be some sort of an unreal curse. Luckily I refused to miss the big picture, and listened intently to President Obama’s words of thanks, praise and encouragement to the NAACP.

For me, his most noteworthy remarks were those acknowledging our country’s progress in eliminating inequality, yet also acknowledging that minorities still get the short end of the stick when it comes to HIV infection, health care, poverty, unemployment and imprisonment — disparities that are vestiges of past discrimination and racial hatred.

To me, the fact that my president has this historical perspective is beyond empowering. Too many people want to wipe clean the stains of our sordid past, especially with the election of our first black president; but I’m sorry folks, it just doesn’t work like that! As President Obama stated, we must be honest with ourselves; while people now generally treat each other with a higher level of tolerance, systemic inequities —byproducts of the past — must be addressed immediately for this country to truly stand tall upon its founding ideals.

The speech was not only historic, but purposeful. Because we have our first black president, many nay-sayers feel that organizations like the NAACP are losing their relevance. But I echo President Obama’s sentiments that the NAACP is needed just as much today as we were in the ’50s, ’60s, and ’70s. And there is a new agenda: not only to find and stomp out discrimination, but also to be a stronger proponent than ever for self-determination and responsibility in the black community.

By the way, I did get a picture with the president: not Barack, but Ben Jealous, the new fearless leader of the NAACP, who was gracious enough to invite me to his reception in midtown Manhattan (that’s us above). For more photos — of (1) Jeffrey Wright, (2) Charles Ogletree, (3) Bobby Scott, (4) Attorney General Eric Holder and (5) Julian Bond with Holder — click on the slideshow below.

– Malcolm P. Ruff

As an avid fan of the This American Life podcast series, my ears perked up when I saw the title of last week’s show: Pro Se. The hour-long episode told the stories of four people who took their legal fate into their own hands.

In talking with my colleagues and other lawyers, I’m aware that ‘pro se’ defense is more common of late, as the economy’s in the tank and many people can’t afford a lawyer. This is especially true for relatively minor civil matters and family law troubles, I gather.

But it’s unusual for a non-lawyer to represent himself in a criminal case, right? And it’s even more atypical for that non-lawyer to win, especially when he is up against an experienced prosecutor.

A prosecutor like Francisco Calderon, an assistant district attorney with Albany County District Attorney’s Office, who’s won over 500 cases in the last five years. Calderon granted an interview to Ira Glass, the host of This American Life, and tried to explain how a 52-year-old cocaine user who knew “nothing” about the law got the best of him.

Jorge Cruz faced a felony charge of cocaine possession with intent to distribute — which could have landed him in jail for a decade. As Calderon tells it, Cruz got an acquittal by eliciting sympathy from jurors, blurting out the sentence he faced when he was not testifying and portraying himself as a drug-addicted grandpa – a crime, sure, but a lesser one.

Calderon points out that opposing counsel often spar back and forth, but in this case, the jury’s impression was likely that Calderon was constantly berating a defenseless man.

You can stream the podcast here. “Disorder in the Court,” the story of Jorge Cruz, begins at the 30-minute mark.

The Supreme Court will be packed for Maryland Attorney General Douglas F. Gansler and Assistant Public Defender Celia A. Davis when they argue the case of Maryland v. Shatzer before the justices.

The draw will not be the case itself, though it does present an intriguing right to counsel issue. Nor will most of the public be enticed primarily by the participants (with apologies to Mr. Gansler and Ms. Davis).

No, the attraction will be the date of the high-court showdown: Oct. 5, the first Monday in October. Not only will the day mark the opening of the Supreme Court’s 2009-2010 term but also, presumably, the first day on the bench for Sonia Sotomayor, President Barack Obama’s nominee to succeed former Justice David H. Souter, who retired this summer.

A Senate vote on Sotomayor’s anticipated confirmation is expected within the next few weeks.

Maryland v. Shatzer is scheduled to be the second case argued on that historic day.

In Shatzer, the state is appealing a Maryland Court of Appeals decision that threw out an accused child molester’s conviction because police questioned him nearly three years after he first requested an attorney. The Maryland court said the time span did not vitiate Michael Blaine Shatzer Sr.’s invocation of his right to counsel, and that police, years later, were barred from questioning him until an attorney was provided.

Kevin Cogill, the blogger who leaked songs from Guns N’ Roses’ new album last year, was sentenced to one year of probation last week by a federal judge in Los Angeles. Cogill will also serve two months of home confinement (which I heard a DJ joke will give Cogill plenty of time to leak more albums), allow the government to keep tabs on his computers and record a public service announcement for the Recording Industry Association of America.

Cogill, whose nom de blog is Skwerl, pleaded guilty earlier this year to one count of copyright infringment, a misdemeanor, according to the Associated Press. He faced a maximum of one year in jail and fines and restitution in the amount of $371,000.

Cogill’s site, Antiquiet, has a bit more colorful take on the case’s outcome. (Warning: “colorful” means “uses profanities.”) Cogill himself commented that he respects artists’ right to decide how their music is released.

“In that sense, I will concede to an error in judgement I do not intend to repeat,” he wrote.

I spoke too soon.

In a post on Friday, I wrote that to the best of my knowledge, no firm with a big presence here had yet canceled its summer associate program for 2010.

Now Ballard Spahr, which has 40 lawyers in Baltimore and nine in Bethesda, has done just that. (The report first surfaced today on Above the Law.)

A Ballard spokeswoman e-mailed me the following statement:

“In view of our obligation to manage our firm in a responsible way, we have decided not to have a Summer Associates Program in 2010. We are very pleased to have a new class of associates that will join us in the fall of 2010 and will make offers to this year’s summer associates to start in 2011. It would be unfair to have a Summer Associates Program next year in light of the people to whom we have made commitments. If there are exceptional needs in a non-Philadelphia office, we will consider appropriate hires. This decision reflects what we believe is in the best interests of the firm.”

ON THE COVER: The off season – When the General Assembly session ends, lawyer/lawmakers return to their legal careers in earnest.

The 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals finds that Maryland’s liquor-pricing system violates the Sherman Antitrust Act.

In Breaking News, the Court of Special Appeals holds that a confession by the MySpace killer is public record; a geneticist loses her job-bias appeal; a former 1st Mariner Area worker says his firing was racially biased; and a federal judge denies a request to unseal more court documents in the Bromwell cases.

In this week’s Verdicts & Settlements, a jury finds that an Elkton police officer did not improperly use his Taser during a 2005 arrest, and a blinded SSA employee agrees to a $300,000 settlement.

Read about Hodes, Pessin & Katz’s Pirate Day in Unbillable Hours.

Judge Dennis M. Sweeney writes about avoiding and dealing with inconsistent jury verdicts in his column Judge on the Jury.

Stay up-to-date with our Legal Briefs and Law Digest, with cases from the Maryland Court of Special Appeals and U.S. 4th Circuit Court of Appeals.

Happy Monday! Here are some law links to start the week:

• The Sun’s Peter Hermann compares the treatment of Inner Harbor restaurants and Block strip clubs at the Board of Liquor License Commissioners last week.
• Here are eight reasons not to go to law school. Can you think of eight reasons to go? Or one? Leave it in the comments. HT: University of Baltimore Law Library Blog.
• Lawyers are always susceptible to depression. In this job environment, things are even worse.
• Should law schools be giving students more practical training?
• We need a “critical mass” of women on the Supreme Court, says DeeDee Myers. Thanks to Ms.JD for the link.

In today’s Maryland Lawyer, I wrote about Pirate Day at the Towson-based law firm Hodes, Pessin & Katz, P.A.

Staffers organized the event, held last Thursday, in support of Partner Brian Goodman, who is the general manager of the Young Victorian Theatre Company, which put on a two-week production this summer of the comic opera, The Pirates of Penzance.

I must say, there were some pretty creative outfits from Pirate Day. Take Managing Director Drake Zaharris (pictured) as an example.

In addition to dressing up as pirates, a contest was held to see who could come up with the cleverest response to the following statement:

“Lawyers are like pirates because…”

Here were a few of my favorites that didn’t show up in today’s print edition:

–Because they cutthroat their opponents: a lawyer uses his “words” and a pirate uses his “sword.” (play on anagram).

–Because they are landlubbers that pillage and loot booty from other unsuspecting swabbies since we can’t make them walk the plank. Arg.

The winning statement came from paralegal Lynn Reichelm… “Because they want to get their hooks in you.”

Now it’s your turn to finish the phrase. Any other suggestions?