Forbidden fruit

I received a lovely Edible Arrangements fruit basket at my desk this morning.

Since I can find a law angle to almost anything, I’ll tell you that there was a funny warning label attached to my fruit. It told me, first off, that the arrangement was made with skewers. No kidding! So that’s what those pointy things sticking out of the fruit were.

Then the label told me to “[c]arefully remove fruit with utensil and dispose of fruit skewers immediately.” As opposed to just chomping away with the skewers still attached? But that eliminates all the extra fiber!

Also, “adult supervision [is] required” when children are around the container the arrangement came in. I can’t think of what horrible, deadly thing kids could do with an empty basket, but maybe that’s a failure of imagination on my part.

Finally, the arrangement can only be safely transported in the trunk of the car. “Never allow a passenger to hold arrangement while vehicle is in motion,” I was cautioned. Of course, that’s exactly what most people are going to do, since if it goes in the trunk it might roll around — and horrors, maybe even dislodge one of those lethal skewers!

I cringe to think of the Edible Arrangements-related injuries that must have prompted these over-the-top legal warnings.

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