On the Record

By: Brendan Kearney

Earlier this year, my (former) colleague Caryn Tamber wrote entertainingly about her appearance in traffic court. Earlier this week, I, too, stood before a city judge and explained why I should not have to pay a fine. Among other differences between our experiences: she won and I lost. But it’s not whether you win or lose…

Caryn was found not guilty and didn’t have to pay her $60 ticket — the right decision, I thought. I, on the other hand, had my $42 ticket halved but had to pay $22.50 in court costs (forgot about those!), bringing my total bill to $43.50. So not only did I have to spend part of my morning at the Patapsco Avenue courthouse but I had to pay $1.50 more than if I had simply typed and clicked on my laptop from the comfort of home.

I fought my fine because I have been on the wrong end of too many parking tickets as I’ve moved around central Baltimore recently and I thought a parking enforcement officer’s mistakes on one occasion in mid-July should be my break. It was only fair. After all, the officer got my car’s make and color wrong and he had the expiration date of my tag wrong, too. (He, uh, got my license plate number right.)

I told all this to the judge, who, after flashing a weary smile, asked me if I was in fact parked on that Mt. Vernon street — a two-hour residential parking area — on that day. I said I was, and he announced his decision, which I thought was fair — especially given the feebleness of my case compared to the much more compelling stories offered by my fellow aggrieved drivers there in the gallery Monday morning.

One woman, whose son spoke for her, had incurred a fistful of tickets while her car was stolen. No fine, the understanding judge ruled. Two other people, who had not come together, had parked in the same unmarked West Baltimore block. Again, no fine for either. And then there was the elderly couple with matching haircuts and purses; the husband was wearing earrings and heels. I forget what their excuse was, but I think they got off, too.

If I had known what it took to win fine forgiveness, I probably wouldn’t have made the trip. But if a few Monday morning laughs and a decent story are worth anything, I’d say traffic court was worth the price of admission.