Here are some news items to hold you over until tonight’s major court case, Kansas v. Kentucky.

– Facebook’s attorneys must act quickly.

– Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer laments.

– Do the NFL players, coaches allegedly involved in “Bountygate” need criminal defense attorneys?

– Former partner at large Chicago law firm blogs about the profession in “The Belly of the Beast.”

Kimberly Smedley's Facebook profile photo via TheSmokingGun.com

An Atlanta woman who nearly killed a Baltimore stripper after illegally injecting automotive-grade silicone into her buttocks, pleaded guilty Wednesday to using an adulterated and misbranded product.

Kimberly D. Smedley, 45 — who is not a licensed medical practitioner of any kind — faces up to five years in federal prison and a $250,000 fine when she is sentenced. Prosecutors said Smedley used the silicone to enlarge her clients’ buttocks and that she carried out the procedures over an eight-year period, usually in hotel rooms, charging people $500 to $1,600 per session.

“Kimberly Smedley endangered her customers’ lives by injecting them with commercial silicone, causing at least one victim to suffer lung damage from a substance not approved by the Food and Drug Administration,” said U.S. Attorney Rod J. Rosenstein. “No one should undergo medical procedures in a hotel room.”

The case was prosecuted by the Maryland U.S. Attorney’s office after the dancer was hospitalized for symptoms of pneumonia. Doctors determined that the fluid in her lungs was a reaction to silicone poisoning.

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Remember the time on “30 Rock” when Tina Fey’s character, Liz Lemon, got out of jury duty by dressing up as Princess Leia and pretending she actually thought she was the Star Wars character?

“I really don’t think it’s fair for me to be on a jury since I’m a hologram,” Lemon, in full Leia garb, told the judge on the show.

A Denver woman tried to pull off a similar ploy in real life, except instead of a side-buns hairstyle and intergalactic white dress she donned mismatched reindeer socks, smeared make-up and hair curlers, The Denver Post reports.

Susan Cole, a published author and cosmetologist, spoke in “disjointed” speech to Denver District Court Judge Anne Mansfield during jury selection in June last year.

“I broke out of domestic violence in the military,” Cole told the judge. “And I have a lot of repercussions. One is post-traumatic stress disorder” she told the judge.”

Cole avoided jury duty, but the story didn’t end there. Cole called into a radio program that was talking to listeners about how they avoided jury duty. Cole described her outfit and behavior to the hosts and Mansfield heard it all.

Cole tried to tell Fox31 in Denver that her story to the judge that day was true, but her effort was in vain. After investigators looked into the matter, the Denver District Attorney’s Office charged Cole with perjury and attempting to influence a public servant.

Now, it’s possible Cole could be headed to jail in the not too far, far away future.

Interesting post from GW’s Jonathan Turley Monday on the health care arguments before the Supreme Court. While all eyes are on Justice Kennedy, Turley urges us to think of it as a “court of two,” with one additional complication:

As I have previously noted, it is not simply Justice Kennedy but Justice Scalia that will be the focus of attention in these oral arguments. In order to support the states, Scalia will have to distinguish past statements embracing broad interpretations of federal jurisdiction. For all intents and purposes, this could be an argument before a court of two with the parties striving to lock in both Scalia and Kennedy.

It is a closer case because of the refusal of Justice Kagan to recuse herself. I have previously said that I believe there are strong arguments to be made for such recusal by Kagan. If the Administration prevails, her participation will always be viewed in history as problematic by many.

While Turley says both sides present compelling arguments, he views this as a watershed moment for the Constitution’s system of enumerated and reserved powers – one that could ”leave few things as protected by federalism by expanding Congress’ enumerated powers to an unprecedented scope.”

Welcome to the first Monday of spring and the roundup. Here are a few news items that do not involve a certain health care law.

– Chinese attorneys must make loyalty oath.

– Russian lawyers turn to European Court of Human Rights.

– Parents should take heed of the litigation law-school graduates brought against their alma mater.

– In memoriam: A civil rights attorney and a Watergate special prosecutor.

It’s Monday and that means two things: No basketball for another three days and the roundup. Here are my choices for the final four (at least for this week):

– An alleged Manhattan madam has a discriminating taste in lawyers.

– Chief Los Angeles County Juvenile Court judge invites press to cover foster-care proceedings.

– Wisconsin Supreme Court conferences can allegedly turn violent.

– Gaming-industry lawyers play the odds in Florida.

(Photo of Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice David Prosser courtesy of Lukas Keapproth, Wisconsin Center for Investigative Journalism)

Good luck with your brackets. The following items, like those brackets, are for entertainment purposes only.

– What would happen if every defendant rejected a plea bargain?

– Does “Obamacare” opponent’s debt hurt her case before the Supreme Court?

– Judicial temperament could be put on trial in Chicago.

– And you thought driving on a suspended license took a lot of chutzpah.

– A federal judge did not practice what he preached.

Welcome to the first Monday in March, a month that promises madness and, of course, the weekly roundup of legal news.

– Grosseto, Italy, might be the new hot spot for plaintiffs’ attorneys.

– Martin Sheen and George Clooney play lawyers in a stage production of the Proposition 8 trial. Can you guess who plays the judge?

– A defense attorney in a famous patricide acquittal kept a journal, but did he take an axe?

– China airs a reality show unlike any other.

No need to thank the Academy. The blog roundup is provided free of charge by The Daily Record. Here are some law links to start your week:

— The percentage of lawyers dwindles in the U.S. Senate.

— Maybe this law school should start a clinic in defending against discrimination suits.

— Why have a gavel when you’ve got a gun?

— Agent Orange and Monsanto are back in the news.

After a day of honoring American presidents, the blog roundup returns to a nation founded on the rule of law.

— Will Failing Law Schools make the best-seller list?

— Federal judge rules in case of pornography, pirates and (intellectual) property.

— Alleged housing scam could carry life sentence for California defendant.

— Declaration of death doesn’t dismiss indictment.