In his intriguing new historical novel, Then Everything Changed, political commentator Jeff Greenfield posits how events might have played out under three different scenarios: had Lyndon Johnson been elected president in 1960; had Robert F. Kennedy survived an assassin’s bullet and been elected president in 1968; and if Gerald Ford had won the 1976 election.

I will not spoil Greenfield’s masterful work by detailing his alternative history. Rather, I mention the book because it has spurred me to think of “what ifs” both historical and personal, an exercise that sparks my imagination and makes me feel grateful.

What if Clement Haynsworth or G. Harrold Carswell had won Senate confirmation to the Supreme Court? President Richard Nixon would not have had to resort to his third choice, Harry A. Blackmun, who wrote the high court’s opinion in Roe v. Wade.

What if Ralph Branca had walked Bobby Thompson and pitched to the next batter (a rookie named Willie Mays)? The New York Giants might not have won the 1951 pennant.

What if Florida had electronic voting on Election Day 2000? President Gore, perhaps.

What if Jeffrey Maier had left to get a hot dog when Derek Jeter was at bat? A banner might be flying in Baltimore.

What if she weren’t in her sorority house to take my call? But I digress.

Please submit your “what ifs.”

I wonder how much my 1974 Brooks Robinson baseball card is worth?

That question came to mind as I read Liz Farmer’s article on the National Sports Collectors Convention, which opens Wednesday in Baltimore.

I found the card last weekend, as my 12-year-old son and I sifted through three shoeboxes worth of baseball cards, circa 1972-1976, which I had collected when I was younger than he.

In addition to Brooks (similar ) I came across a Belanger and a Boog (but not a Bumbry); a McNally and a Cuellar (but not a Palmer); an Etchebarren; and a Grich.

There were non-Orioles, as well, including the New York Mets Jerry Koosman, Jon Matlack, Wayne Garrett, Cleon Jones and John Milner, who made 1973 a magical summer and heart-breaking fall; Pittsburgh Pirates stars Willie Stargell, Richie Hebner, Manny Sanguillen and Rennie Stennett, whom I remember watching on NBC’s Game of the Week with Joe Garagiola and Tony Kubek; and there was the Los Angeles Dodgers Al Downing (who I watched surrender Hank Aaron‘s 715th homerun on April 8, 1974) and Tom House (the Atlanta Braves pitcher who I saw catch the ball in the bullpen).

Yes, I wonder how much those cards are worth… On second thought, they are not for sale.

If I used the terms “baseball” and “vomit-inducing” in the same sentence, you’d think I was talking about the Orioles, right? In most cases, that would be correct. But not today, when a New Jersey man “admits to vomiting assault at Phillies game,” as the headline says.

Matthew Clemmens’ guilty plea will most likely result in probation when he is sentenced at the end of July, prosecutors said.

The incident happened during an April 14 game. Clemmens and friends were sitting behind an off-duty police officer and his two children, doing the things that give Philly sports fans a bad reputation. When one of Clemmens’ friends was ejected, prosecutors said he answered a cell phone call by saying, “I need to do what I need to do. I’m going to get sick.”

At that point, Clemmens stuck his fingers down his throat and vomited on the dad and one of the daughters. (Really.)

Clemmens’ uncle offered a kind-of defense for his nephew a few days later, saying Clemmens was feeling queasy from a few extra beers and “he accidentally vomited, putting his hand in front of his mouth, and vomited on the person in front of him, which was the wrong person.”

Police are still searching for the right person.

There was a pause toward the end of yesterday’s pre-trial hearing in Parkton residents’ lawsuit alleging groundwater contamination from a neighborhood gas station.

Judge J. Norris Byrnes broke the silence with a comment.

“I want to know if we signed a .400 hitter or a long reliever,” he said.

The comment was timely for two reasons.

First, the residents are represented by Peter Angelos, also known as the owner of the Baltimore Orioles. The judge’s comment was directed toward H. Russell Smouse, who was sitting in the courtroom gallery. Smouse is the Orioles’ general counsel.

Second, baseball executives and personnel have converged on Indianapolis this week for the annual Winter Meetings, the official start of the off-season wheeling and dealing commonly referred to as the Hot Stove league.

As the lawyers in the courtroom smiled, Smouse replied.

“We’re hoping to sign you,” he told Byrnes.

The judge chuckled. He is retired and specially assigned to the Parkton case.

“I am a long reliever,” Byrnes said.

Yesterday’s ninth-inning comeback from the Red Sox — one night after the Orioles executed a similar feat against them — highlighted what has become a theme for Baltimore this year: you never know which O’s squad you’re going to get.

The Orioles have been streaky this year, to say the least.  Seven-game losing streaks, five-game winning streaks. They blanked the Rays one night then allowed 11 runs the next. They were scoreless against the Yankees on May 8, then touched home plate 12 times the next night. More than half of their wins have come from runs scored in late innings.

I recently heard a radio ad highlighting the fact that the Orioles have been an exciting team to watch because you can’t count them out in the later innings. Last year, the O’s marketing team launched a tongue-and-cheek promotion around the team’s bad luck on Sundays. At that point, the Orioles had a 13-game losing streak at Camden Yards on Sundays and marketers launched a “You Win We Win” promotion on July 6 that promised to give fans a free ticket to a future, non “prime” game to fans in attendance that day if the O’s broke their Sunday streak.

From talking with fans, I get the sense that there isn’t really any ill will about the streakiness because most know it’s just a characteristic of a young squad.  That being the case, can you market this unpredictability? The radio commercial I mentioned touches on it, but I wonder if team marketers can take it a step further and design a promotion around the team’s come-from-behind drama they’ve frequently displayed at home.

For example, they could print up a bunch of $8 off and $9 off ticket coupons and have them ready to hand out after a game for an eighth- or ninth-inning comeback (making it clear to fans that the go-ahead run is scored in one of those innings for the promotion to take effect).

On the other hand, as the manager of a ball club, you want to see your team jump out early and hold on to the lead. Would a promotion like the one I mentioned be a conflict in philosophy?

Everyone’s feeling the recession, including Peter Angelos.

Press Box points out that Forbes left the Orioles owner and personal injury-law mogul off its World’s Billionaires list last month and its Baseball’s Billionaires list last week. The magazine put Angelos’ net worth at around $1.2 billion last September but now estimates that he has since lost at least 30 percent of his net worth, “despite the Orioles’ value staying flat at $250 million this year.”

No word yet from Angelos’ satirical Twitter alter ego, @Peter_Angelos, on how the drop in net worth is affecting his lifestyle.

The NFL released its entire 2009 schedule Tuesday, but it’s eight specific games on the calendar that are the focus of a courtroom hearing in Washington, D.C. this week.

The octet of games will air later this year on NFL Network, which is owned by the league. Comcast has put the network on its premium sports tier, which costs extra on top of the standard digital package, where the league wants its network to be.

Comcast, the nation’s largest cable provider, claims it put the network in the premium tier because of high costs associated with carrying the channel; the NFL says Comcast put the channel there so as not to compete with Comcast’s own sports channels. 

An administrative law judge with the Federal Communications Commission will make a ruling that could have implications beyond sports:

It is the first big test at the FCC of a 1992 federal law that prohibits cable companies, such as Comcast, from favoring their own entertainment content over that of independents, such as the NFL Network. …[A ruling in favor of the NFL] could make it easier for independent programmers to gain access to cable systems, experts say.

This case is one of three that will be heard in the next few months by Judge Richard L. Sippel; another one, interestingly enough, involves MASN, the Orioles’ and Nationals cable network. After settling a separate federal suit against Comcast (over “split feed” advertising in the Baltimore and D.C. region) a little more than a year ago, MASN now wants Comcast to carry the channel in several southern Virginia markets.

I got in this morning after a few days out of the office and saw an e-mail letting me know that @Peter_Angelos was now following me on Twitter. My BS detector went off immediately. (See how quick on the uptake we trained reporters are?) Can you imagine the cantankerous, 79-year-old personal injury mogul and Orioles owner on Twitter?

Sure enough, it’s clearly a fake, but a pretty funny one. The pseudo-Angelos idenitifies himself as an “uber-ambulance chaser” and muses about “refreshing myself with a quick swim in my money vault before heading to Camden Yards. Note to self: wear underpants.” Another gem: “Note to self: place sun on probation. I’m paying good money & I expect that stupid ball of fire to blind Johnny Damon on routine pop-ups.”

If you are wondering, Twitter says it may suspend people who impersonate others on the service if they actually confuse or mislead people into thinking they’re the real deal. Parody, on the other hand, is fair game: “Parody impersonation accounts are allowed to exist. The profile information on a parody account must make it obvious that the profile is fake, or it is subject to removal from Twitter.com.” (HT: Slate, which saw one of its own reporters impersonated on Twitter last week.)

I’m thinking my new friend @Peter_Angelos is in the clear.

Obligatory self-promotional note: You can follow me on Twitter @CarynTamber.

If you’ve ever seen the “Dancin’ Homer” Simpsons episode where Homer gets a job as the local minor league team’s mascot, you know how entertaining an overweight guy dancing around in a cheesy outfit can be.

Now the Florida Marlins have brought that idea to the majors and are forming an all-male, plus-size cheerleading squad called the “Manatees,” according to ESPN.com.

“The team hopes to recruit seven to 10 tubby men to dance, cheer and jiggle during Friday and Saturday home games this season,” the article stated, noting that the men who were scheduled to try out this past weekend were judged on how well they danced a choreographed routine.

The squad won’t be paid, however they will receive free tickets to the games they perform at.

Here’s my thought: why let the Marlins have all the fun? Should the Orioles take advantage of its longtime fan base and start up its own squad? (the name “Harbor Seals” immediately jumps to mind – bonus points to anyone who can do “the worm”).

Does else anyone think the Orioles’ games could be livened up this season by adding some local entertainment to the mix?

LIZ FARMER, Business Writer

The play on the field at Oriole Park at Camden Yards may not always be pretty this baseball season, but at least the new high-definition scoreboard will be sure to catch your eye.

With the first installment of the JumboTron’s replacement being hoisted up this week, here’s a few interesting tidbits an O’s fan might want to know about the team’s $5.2 million addition.

• The top and bottom scoreboards are made up of panels with tiny red, green and blue lights (about the size of pinheads) spaced 20 millimeters apart. That multiplies out to about 472,632 lights on the top board (27.5 feet by 74 feet) and 22,894 on the bottom (24 feet by 40).

• The old panels were made up of square lights a little smaller than a Post-It. Each light had a section of red, green and blue.

• The new scoreboards will actually weigh less and use less electricity than the old ones, although Maryland Stadium Authority technician Vince Steier couldn’t say yesterday whether or not it could pay for itself in savings over the years.

• The scoreboards cost $1 million more than third baseman Brian Roberts’ salary in 2007 ($4.2 million, according to ESPN.com).

• The $9 million total venture (including a sound system and control room upgrade to be completed by the 2009 season) is more than the O’s paid for any one player in 2007.

According to Steier, the installation, which began at 8 a.m. Tuesday, is on schedule to be finished by March 19. That will allow for two weeks of test runs to try out the new team graphics and animations and iron out all the kinks before the home opener against Tampa Bay on March 31.

Steier noted the Orioles management was “very conscious about maintaining the old time feel of the park but also giving fans the amenities they expect” from Camden Yards.

“It reflects the team and the state’s interest to make this a fun place to go,” he said.

LIZ FARMER, Legal Affairs Writer