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Golf is Life, so tee it up

Golf is the sport most analogous to life: It’s inherently unfair, difficult to master and far too random to comport with the need for just results. Beer helps. So does sun block. Golf also rewards patience, discipline and balance. When played properly, it’s a game of honor and etiquette. Golfers call penalties on themselves. Cheaters get shamed. Golf also features the four classical conflicts we learned about in English class, and is why all young lawyers – and all young professionals for that matter – should learn to play. (Ladies, please forgive the use of the masculine.)

11 comments

  1. You forgot this one: Man vs. Woman. Thoughtless lawyer drafts extraordinarily unoriginal but nevertheless incredibly sexist blog post about men and golf, which pisses off fully one half of the population. You are not forgiven. Calling us “ladies” doesn’t help.

  2. Really loved this piece, Jason! I’m going to print it out and use it in my classes next year–both for the message and the use of literary conflicts. Nicely done!!

  3. Headline: Beaulieu pens (types) another wretched drivel.

  4. Good timing to happen upon this article. I’ve been clinically depressed since a tromping by my 2 brothers this past week. You nailed the essence. Now how do you quit hitting behind the ball?

  5. You’ve made just a few really big mistakes (though I agree with Isolde – this is a thoughtless and very male piece). Golf is not a sport in any legitimate sense of the term. It is played mostly by non-athletes, even at high levels, and has no “running, jumping, throwing” or “reflex moments” (when one must react instantaneously to the move of another) in it, and these are essential qualities of a true sport. It is more like a card game than a sport, with just an exaggerated form of the draw. Second, Tiger Woods did not integrate it. The golf world is racist to the core and little black kids should be avoiding it like the plague if they have any sense at all. The golf writers’ destruction of Woods over something that was none of their business is the best evidence of that. There have been groupies and casual sex on the tour for as long as there has been a tour, but when everything was white nothing was ever made of it. Had Woods been white, it would have been a minor and eminently forgettable story this time as well. The other players couldn’t beat Woods on the course, so the writers took up the challenge and found another way to take him out of the picture, Alas, the strategy seems to have worked. Woods seems no longer able to concentrate as well as he used to, and he may never get his game back to its earlier level. He appears to be too sensitive on this issue, to care too much about what others think to move on. It would help if he was a bit more like Charles Barkley, at least on this issue. Finally, Nicklaus is “perhaps” the second best golfer of all time (perhaps the third – I’d like to see a fair way to compare him with Hogan). Anyone who has played the game at a high level knows that Woods did things no one else in the game ever has. He showed how the game could be made athletic and this may turn out to be his greatest legacy. Nicklaus was a slow, pudgy (sometimes fat) kid with exceptional hand-eye coordination and excellent powers of concentration. If golf hadn’t existed he probably would have been an actuary. Woods would have been an athlete in a real sport. I take it you don’t have much of a game since it’s usually just hackers who talk about golf in the way you have here. More time on the practice tee might make columns like this unnecessary. I should add, just to head off a predictable response, that I played to a scratch handicap for many years and had quite a bit of success in golf. I like the game. I just don’t believe in hyperbolic, fantasy-driven renditions of its meaning.

  6. Isolde…I didn’t know there was e-mail in the late 1960’s. Calm down a little and use the fire extinguisher to put out the burning bra’s. As I am sure you know, the use of “Man vs. Nature, Society, Man and Self are literary elements used as a metaphors to illustrate examples of “conflict”. The use of “Man” is itself a metaphor. To label the author of this blog as a “sexist” based on his use of nationally taught literary elements is simply irresponsible…even for a femenist. Follow the example of your fellow woman “Theresa” and read the piece for what it is…an insight to the parallels of life and golf and the life lessons that can be taken away from the sport, not an attack against “one half of the population”. I believe in womens rights. It’s people like you that give femenisim a bad name with your ignorant comments. You should run to your local community college and sign up for a refresher course on reading comprehension.

  7. Pushkin, please be mindful of our commenting policy. Please only use one name when posting. If it happens again, we will not approve your comment.

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  8. People who think like pushkin are the reason that this state and this country are in the mess they’re in!

  9. “Bra’s”
    “femenist”

    And I am to run to community college?

  10. I think reading this blog without a chip on your shoulder helps.

  11. On a golf course you can start to truly take in the beautiful scenery that surrounds you, plus breathe in the fresh air.