For those of you who took the Maryland bar exam this past Tuesday and Wednesday, today is a bittersweet day. Here are some of the emotions you may encounter over the next couple of months.
Some may feel a huge weight has been lifted from their shoulders. For those, a night (or nights) of celebration will follow. For others, today’s dawn may or may not have been a welcomed escape from the constant nightmares of incorrect answers and spotty issue finding: “Did I notice the easement in the property question? Did I mention ‘best interest of the child’ sufficiently? I should’ve underlined all my key points!”
(NOTE: These were my thoughts when I took the bar exam. In no way are they a reflection of the issues tested during this year’s exam.)
You’ll hardly sleep, and if you do sleep, you may be haunted by dreams of improperly filled bubble sheets and unanswered questions. For weeks this vicious cycle will continue until one day it stops.
I don’t know the cause for the lull, but for a moment, all will seem well. Perhaps it’s a defense mechanism crafted by our subconscious to prevent a mental breakdown. Consider this your “eye of the storm” moment. Eventually, nightmares will begin to flare once again, obliterating any sense of normalcy and tranquility.
One week prior to the results, paranoia will take hold: “What happens if I don’t pass? What will I tell my family if I fail?” Although you loathe the possibility of re-taking the exam, your main fear may be the possibility of having to wait another six months to become admitted.
Studying all over again isn’t too bad; instead, the true horror of failing would come in having to wait and wait and WAIT for the results. Even worse is thinking, “if I failed once, what will prevent me from failing again?”
In many ways we are our own worst enemies. Regardless of the time you invest worrying over your performance, what’s done is done. If I may be a hypocrite, move on and enjoy life. To spend countless hours fretting over possible answers will not benefit you, and will likely cause you months of unbridled torment.