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Editorial: Julia, how can we make you feel more loved?

Dear Julia:

We were aghast to hear that your wonderful cable TV show, “Veep,” may shift its production operation from our state to California. Something to do with they were willing to give you more tax credits than we were. (Aren’t they running out of water? How can they afford to give you more tax credits?)

Julia, (Is it OK if we just use your first name? We can do Ms. Louis-Dreyfus, if you prefer, though it seem like we’ve become so close through the years), this is just a misunderstanding. We hope you and your people weren’t put off by that report last year from those pesky pencil pushers over at the state’s Department of Legislative Services. Yes, of course, you don’t have time to read that stuff (BORING!), but your people probably did.

Where do these bureaucrats come up with this? “Maryland has provided $62.5 million in (film production) tax credits between fiscal 2012 and 2016 while only receiving a fraction of the tax credit amounts back in revenues … States are fiercely competing with one another to draw productions into their state. This type of competition is not only expensive, but promotes unhealthy competition among states.”

Really. You know and we know that most people don’t pay diddly squat attention to these reports. Our legislators never do. So we hope your people didn’t get worked into a tizzy. We know a zillion jobs and dollars come from the economic activity produced by your TV crew shooting here a few weeks a year.

Might we make a humble suggestion? We went through this with your friend, Kevin, last year – Spacey, the “House of Cards” guy. Supposedly, Illinois was waving a bunch of goodies in front of his people (Illinois! They’re, like, the most broke state in the country.) So after Kevin, or Mr. Spacey, hobnobbed with a few legislators over drinks in Annapolis, everything came out just wonderful. Those lawmakers realized that Marylanders and “House of Cards” are made for each other – just like Maryland and “Veep” – and they came up with the dough.

So, if there’s any way you could spend a weekend here outside the set – you know, it doesn’t even have to be a weekend, just part of a day, maybe just an hour over at the Owl Bar – and let our politicians bask in your presence, they’ll realize how essential your show is to our state. And we have no doubt there are some other things we can do for you. An Under Armour workout T-shirt with the map of Maryland on the back? It’s yours. Lifetime supply of Old Bay seasoning? Discounts on brokerage accounts at T. Rowe Price?

Julia, you don’t even have to ask. Just bring Gary along so we can fill up your handbag. We can make this happen.

Your pals in Maryland